No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.

I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.

I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?

There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.


Just because you chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka

We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...

Just puked most of my soul out...

I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.

I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.

I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses

I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?

Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey

well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night

last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals

all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"

just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.

So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.